The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual: KIRA
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: We apologize sincerely for the delay of this unit. Without further ado: KIRA YAMATO [version SEED]!


_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Gundam SEED. This idea is originally from Theresa Green, and inspired by Hikari Hrair-Rah's RK series._

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_**Manufacturer's Notes:** Please note that this is the SEED version of KIRA YAMATO. Also, it is not in our intention to insult other units. If you have any comments or suggestions, please contact us via the purple 'Go' Button below._

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**KIRA YAMATO: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**

_Congratulations_! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated KIRA YAMATO unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Accidental Gundam Pilot, please pay close attention to the following instructions:

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**Basic Information**

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Name: Kira Yamato (a.k.a. Runt, Ensign, the Ultimate Coordinator, Kira-sama, Kira-kun)

Date of Manufacture: 18 May C.E. 55

Place of Manufacture: Mendel Colony, Ultimate Coordinator Division

Genetic Type: Coordinator

Height: Taller than Cagalli, but unfortunately shorter than Athrun

Weight: Heavy

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**Your KIRA YAMATO unit will come with the following accessories:**

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One (1) standard issued Earth Alliance pilot suit (with knife)

One (1) standard issued Earth Alliance military suit

One (1) set civilian clothing

One (1) set Morgenroete jumpsuit

One (1) hand gun

One (1) TORI unit

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Please take note that a Mobile Suit (Gundam) is not included with your KIRA YAMATO unit. In order to get the ZGMF-10A FREEDOM, KIRA YAMATO unit must first be forcefully shoved in the cockpit of the GAT-X105 STRIKE by a MURRUE RAMIUS unit. The ZGMF-10A FREEDOM then, will be given to him by a LACUS CLYNE unit. Please remind your KIRA YAMATO unit to release the safety lock of the handgun before using it so as not to look naïve in front of a MWU LA FLAGA unit.

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**Programming:**

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The KIRA YAMATO unit is one of the most versatile units around (just ask the FLAY ALLSTER unit!) and will willingly serve in as many different modes as possible: If you're having trouble making him obey you, just hold his friends hostage and watch him do the work!

**TYPIST:** The KIRA YAMATO unit has a typing speed of 128342 words per minute! Watch his hands whiz by as he types your papers! Or, better yet, your classmates' papers! Hire him out as a typist to family, friends, and strangers alike and earn money while you wait!

**TUTOR: **Because of his highly-advanced intellect, he is well versed in the fields of Mathematics, Science, and, well, maybe not English if you're with the subs… But! For only 9.99, you get a MULTI-LANGUAGE chip to break all those language barriers! Ask him anything! Let him do your homework! Or hire him out to your friends, and watch the cash roll in!

**BODYGUARD: **Your KIRA YAMATO unit has physical abilities way beyond that of a normal human being. Are you a politician with threats to your life? Or a husband caught cheating on his wife? Or perhaps you're just a normal student being bullied at school? Worry no more! The KIRA YAMATO will protect you with his life! Just be his friend, and all will be well! (Please don't forget to remind him to take the safety of the handgun.)

**PILOT:** Got an airplane but can't fly it? Then the KIRA YAMATO unit's for you! He may not be fully-trained, but who cares? He kicked ass during the war, didn't he? Flying airplanes a cinch for him! Or if you don't have an airplane but you have a KIRA YAMATO unit, the buy a plane from us, for just the low, low price of 99999999.99!

**ETC: **And here's a special deal! Because the KIRA YAMATO unit is from the ULTIMATE COORDINATOR line, he can practically do anything! He can cook, he can dance, he can sing, he can take care of your children… HE'S PERFECT!

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**Your KIRA YAMATO has four (4) different settings:**

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Cry-baby (default setting)

Angst-ridden

Normal Teenager (Level Three Lock)

SEED Mode

SEED mode is characterized by a glazed look in the eyes and will increase the strength of the unit. We are not responsible for any damages unit might cause when in SEED mode.

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**Relations with other units:**

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Your KIRA YAMATO unit is one of the most versatile units around.

**ATHRUN ZALA:** This unit, even if he tries to kill your KIRA YAMATO countless times, is his best friend. Early interactions must be supervised to ensure that no harm will come to either unit. But after he almost successfully kills your KIRA YAMATO and encounters a CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit, they will go back to being friends again.

**CAGALLI YULA ATHHA: **This unit is, believe it or not, your KIRA YAMATO unit's twin sister. They were separated at birth due to soap-opera-like conditions. She will be violent towards your KIRA YAMATO at first, but this will be entirely your units fault, as the KIRA YAMATO will always be dumb-founded whenever he realizes that the CAGALLI YULA ATHHA is female. To establish their sibling-relationship, direct KIRA YAMATO to the nearest MENDEL COLONY™. WARNING: The company is not liable to any injuries (physical and/or psychological) that your unit might suffer.

**FLAY ALLSTER: **This unit may ignore your KIRA YAMATO unit first, but never fear! After she watches her father get blasted to pieces, she will gladly change her mind. She may manipulate your KIRA YAMATO unit and wrap him around her little pinky, but don't worry! She will have a change of heart sooner or later. WARNING: Keep FLAY ALLSTER away from any RAU LE CREUSET units. WARNING2: Only for 18 and above.

**LACUS CLYNE: **This unit is the most compatible unit to your KIRA YAMATO, as it shares the same naïve personality! If your KIRA YAMATO is injured, this unit will gladly take care of him! Watch as their relationship grows, but don't be disappointed if all you see is a small peck on the cheek.

**SAI ARGYLE:** First interactions with this unit will be fairly amiable. But once your KIRA YAMATO hooks up with a FLAY ALLSTER unit, you better shove this unit back to his crate and ship him to Timbuktu. If you are rather attached to this unit, prepare yourself for the injuries that he might sustain in the presence of both a FLAY ALLSTER and KIRA YAMATO unit.

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**Other unit interactions:**

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**COMMANDER MWU LA FLLAGA:** This unit is one of the most compatible units with the KIRA YAMATO unit. He will act as some-sort of paternal figure (a dysfunctional one, anyway) to your unit and may actually give out sensible advice every once in a while. This unit, however, does not make a very good lawyer. So for court martial, contact NATARLE BADGIRUEL.

**ANDREW WALTFELD:** This unit has a weird affinity for kebabs, yogurt sauce, and forcing them unto unknowing individuals. He will be very friendly towards your KIRA YAMATO and then suddenly shove a gun on his face. But don't worry! This unit will not kill or harm your KIRA YAMATO in any way. Frankly, it will be your KIRA YAMATO that will cause him harm.

**COMMANDER RAU LE CREUSET:** WARNING: This unit is highly unstable! KEEP ALL UNITS AWAY FROM THIS UNIT!

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**Cleaning:**

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Your KIRA YAMATO is a growing teenager, and therefore, very touchy about the subject of decency. He is fully capable of cleaning himself, just point him to the nearest bathroom. Please remove any FLAY ALLSTER units nearby when the KIRA YAMATO unit is cleaning himself.

If you would like to clean him yourself, please be reminded of the following: do not machine-wash unit; do not tumble unit dry; do not hang unit in the line to dry.

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**Energy:**

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Your KIRA YAMATO unit is a growing teenager and, therefore, needs proper diet and nutrition. Feed him thrice daily, with a well-balanced diet of sodas, candy, junk foods, and the like.

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**Frequently Asked Questions:**

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Q: Hey, what gives? The model I received looks a bit like Kira, but he has black hair and creepy red eyes! Plus, he is such a jerk! He's like an annoying little brother that I never wanted! I demand a refund!

A: Oops. That is not a KIRA YAMATO unit. That is a SHINN ASUKA unit. We must remind you to please TAKE CAUTION. We are not responsible for any injuries (physical and/or psychological) that you might receive. Please use a long stick to shove him back to the crate and ship it back to us. We'll send you the correct model. Sorry, but we don't accept refunds.

Q: I hate FLAY! But my KIRA YAMATO seems to like him a lot. I'm a die-hard KL fan! What should I do?

A: First, your ATHRUN ZALA unit must first severely injure your unit. Then, send your unit to the nearest LACUS CLYNE. Have a RAU LE CREUSET abduct (or kill, whichever you prefer) your FLAY ALLSTER unit. Simple as that.

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**Troubleshooting:**

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Problem: Your KIRA YAMATO unit isn't showing any signs of being a cry-baby, but instead has a constantly brooding expression on his face and sits out on the porch like an old man all day. And he always tries to act as peacemaker between you and your irritating brother.

Solution: We seem to have sent you the wrong model. That is the prototype KIRA YAMATO version Destiny that you have there. Ship it back to us and we'll replace you with the correct version. But if you happen to like him that way, then by all means, keep him.

Problem: Your KIRA YAMATO unit insists on wearing a mask and is constantly laughing in a decidedly evil way.

Solution: That is a minor glitch in his programming known as the Villain Syndrome. It is caused by a presumption in the SEED Community that the KIRA YAMATO has more or less the tendency to become the next RAU LE CREUSET. Fortunately, the solution is simple. Give him a good ol' whack in the head which will force the system to shut down and reboot. Your KIRA YAMATO might lose his memories, but at least he's not a genocidal maniac.

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With proper care and maintenance, your KIRA YAMATO unit will lead a long and, hopefully, happy life. But you need not worry, though! The KIRA YAMATO unit is from the ULTIMATE COORDINATOR line and as such, has the survival instinct of a cockroach! He just won't die!

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End file.
